This blog is written as a way for me to express my feelings, thoughts and emotions as I go through life as a proud Air Force Wife!

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September 17, 2010

HE'S HOME!!!

Hubby is officially home from Iraq!!!  I cannot believe he is actually home. He returned a couple of days ago and I think the weirdness of having him home if finally wearing off.  Just having him drive home from the airport was weird. I am so used to being the sole driver-- amongst other things. It's weird having a second parent and decision maker. It's weird having a problem with the car and he deals with it. It's weird going over the bills together. It's weird having a body sleeping next to me. It's weird not being by myself during the day while the kids are at school.  It's weird, just plain weird!!

And OH SO LOVELY AND THE MOST WONDERFUL THING EVER!

Even though there is so much weirdness I know that will all go away and we will be back to our routines.  I am sure he had information overload the first day with the kids talking a mile a minute and checking out all the changes around him. Plus just seeing so much color as opposed to all the grey, blah, dirty, dusty place he was in.

He has 2 weeks off of work and he is enjoying every minute so far. We have plans to go out of town the next 2 weekends to just do fun family stuff.

I was so nervous about so many things and so far everything is fine. I think it really helped that we both took a reunion and reintegration class.  The kids are thrilled he's home- especially our daughter who is daddy's girl.

I have to catch myself correcting the kids when I now have another parent to help. I find myself not allowing him time to discipline and I really need to stop that. There is a ,ot more other things that I have to think about and consider in dealing with things. Me being the sole decision maker is now done and yet I was used to it by this time. It's hard to not want to just keep doing what your doing and allow them to help only when you are desperate. You feel like you have accomplished so much by surviving and dealing with everything and then its over. It's a weird feeling-like OK-I have done everything myself but now I need to stop myself from doing everything. lol

It was great last night to see him and our son wrestling like old times. It is so wonderful that he can give our daughter kisses goodnight and she goes to sleep with no more tears. She feels safe and secure again. Our dog was happy he was home until he noticed he was spending a little more time outside. I had spoiled him and let him stay in with me most every day. He provided a sense of security for me and he is a GREAT listener. :-)  Hubby thinks he needs to spend more time outside since he is an outside dog. Well- he is inside today.  I am not going to kick him to the curb just because hubby is home. After all- he still is a GREAT listener.

One of my friends told me to now be a stranger now that my husband is home. I know what she means. Sometimes when our spouse is deployed we find a surrogate parent in a friend who we can rely on and call anytime. Then we can forget about them when our spouse returns.  I had this happen to me and i was very hurtful. I know that the person did not mean for me to be hurt and still wanted a relationship but it all changed. She would call everyday and we would go shopping and so forth. We had built a bond from the deployment. Then her hubby came home and I rarely heard from her. It's not her fault and I am not mad because of this BUT it still was hurtful.

 I am so thankful for God and all the many blessings he has provided our family. So thankful this deployment is over and we can move on.

NOW WHERE ARE OUR PCS ORDERS!!!!!    I'm ready to move  :-) On to the next thing..........

We decorated the front yard

Our free banner we got from Buildasign.com/troops


We can see him coming!

A long awaited hug!!! 

September 6, 2010

He's coming home- mixed emotions!!

I can't believe it but hubby will be coming home in the next few weeks. It seems so surreal. Like it is not true. I think about how long he has been gone and wow it's time for him to come home.

I am of course BEYOND excited! Finally another parent to help out. He can fix all those things on the house that have been neglected. Someone to watch TV with at night. Just to be able to get a hug is going to be phenomenal.

Then I am worried because I didn't accomplish everything that I thought I would while he was gone. Plus- the kids and I have really become closer and I am slowly figuring out my teen son. My son and husband are so alike it is amazing. I am worried about them fighting and butting heads since they are both so stubborn.

I have been taking care of everything and now I am not going to be the sole decision maker. Time to share the responsibilities.

I also know that all my worries need to not be worries. LOL  Silly emotions.

September 1, 2010

Back on track

Ok- so my smiley face is back. I feel much better.


Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for ALL your comments. It really, truly helps. I feel so much better when I can read that other people are going through the same things and all your words of encouragement.

I am still keeping really busy to help the time fly. Actually- I think I just keep busy because I like it.  :-)  All has been going good these last few days. My daughter has started volleyball and school is going good for both of them so far. I really enjoy my free time during school hours. It is so peaceful!! Just me and my doggies.

It's funny because this weekend is a holiday weekend but it is just another weekend for us. The kids get out an extra day on Monday but hubby isn't here to get it off. We don't have any plans so really it is just another weekend with an extra sleep in day- woohoo. I think I will have a "Lost" marathon with a nice glass of wine.

Here is a picture of me and my wonderful kiddo's at a local garden.

Hope you all have a great rest of the week and enjoy your weekend.