This blog is written as a way for me to express my feelings, thoughts and emotions as I go through life as a proud Air Force Wife!

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June 11, 2010

CAUTION- I may cry at any moment

Oh goodness. I'm feeling so weak, emotionally drained, tired, frustrated,tense, sad...................

sad Pictures, Images and Photos

The list could go on. It's been just one of those days where I know I need to cry and let it out but I just keep hanging on. I feel so sad and lonely even though I am surrounded by family. I have all these emotions building up.

UGH  I hate that feeling. I wish I could just fly to hubby and get a quick rejuvenating hug to last me these last couple of months. My son is not helping with the stress part. He's 13 and a great kid but he can send me to the end in a flash.

Several times today I just wanted to cry for no reason. I keep busy so the days will go fast but maybe were too busy. I don't know- every time I think we are going good it doesn't of course change how much we miss him. Another hard thing is that my son is going to fly home when my mom does next week and spend 4 weeks there. I had planned that me and the kids would go but financially that is not going to happen. Plane tickets nowadays are so expensive plus to add the baggage fees. It's N-O-T gonna happen.  :-(

I love how they offer spouses of deployed members a free flight on  military aircraft anywhere---OVERSEAS! What- my family lives in the US. This does not help me. Apparently it is so that the airlines do not lose money from the spouses who do go home. Geesh! Give me a Space A flight that I can actually use and will boost mine and my children's morale.

Yesterday  I had to talk to my daughter's softball coach about something and I couldn't get through the conversation without crying. I hate showing weakness and people thinking I'm losing it.

So- on to other things (lol)  here is a great poem :

I AM A MILITARY WIFE

I am a military wife -- a member of that sisterhood of women who have had the
courage to watch their men go into battle, and the strength to survive until
their return.

Our sorority knows no rank, for we earn our membership with a marriage license,
traveling over miles, or over nations to begin a new life with our military
husbands.

Within days, we turn a barren, echoing building into a home, and though our
quarters are inevitably white-walled and unpapered, we decorate with the
treasures of our travels, for we shop the markets of the globe. Using hammer
and nail, we tack our pictures to the wall, and our roots to the floor as
firmly as if we had lived there for a lifetime. We hold a family together by
the bootstraps, and raise the best of "brats," instilling in them the motto,
"Home is togetherness," whether motel, or guest house, apartment or duplex.

As military wives we soon realize that the only good in "Good-bye" is the
"Hello again."

For as salesmen for freedom, our husbands are often on the road, at sea, or in
the sky, leaving us behind for a week, a month, an assignment. During
separations we guard the home front, existing until the homecoming. Unlike our
civilian counterparts, we measure time, not by years, but by tours -- married
at Knox, a baby born at Portsmouth, a special anniversary at Yorktown, a
promotion in McDill.

We plant trees, and never see them grow tall, work on projects completed long
after our departure, and enhance our community for the betterment of those who
come after us. We leave a part of ourselves at every stop. Through experience,
we have learned to pack a suitcase, a car or hold baggage, and live
indefinitely from the contents within: and though our fingers are sore from the
patches we have sewn, and the silver we have shined, our hands are always ready
to help those around us.

Women of peace, we pray for a world in harmony, for the flag that leads our
men into battle, will also blanket them in death. Yet we are an optimistic
group, thinking of the good, and forgetting the bad, cherishing yesterday,
while anticipating tomorrow.

Never rich by monetary standards, our hearts are overflowing with a wealth of
experiences common only to those united by the special tradition of military
life.


We pass on this legacy to every military bride, welcoming her with outstretched
arms, with love and friendship, from one sister to another, sharing in the
bounty of our unique, fulfilling military way of life.

Author Unknown

13 comments:

♥ Elizabeth said...

You can go on a Space A flight anywhere if your sponsor is deployed for more than 90 days... if there's space of course. Our FRG had a meeting with the people at the NOB terminal and they said you could go anywhere, CONUS or OCONUS. I would look into it if I were you.

Expat Girl said...

I hope you feel better soon. Hugs for you

Carmen said...

I'm so sorry that you have been feeling down hun! I know those days come sometimes and you can't get out of that funk for whatever reason. I hope happiness finds its way to you soon!

I love the poem, by the way. =)

Sammie said...

Hang in there sweetie. You're entitled to your bad days and even though we military wives are suppose to be "used to it", you are allowed to feel sad. Hopefully tomorrow will bring you some perspective and help get you on the track to "keeping calm and carrying on", but know that there are many of us out here going through the same thing and we got your back :)

L.C. said...

Yeah I concure with Elizabeth because I just recently looked into it.

Renee said...

There is NOTHING like the loneliness we go through when our spouses are deployed. The sadness and loss creep up when we least expect it - no on but a milspouse understands. There are no words to help you right now through ~ it is what it is (my husband's favorite words).

Just know that my heart sends you so much mil-love and a zillion hugs!

I've never heard of Space a Flight before...I will have to check into that!

Jen said...

sending you hugs! so sorry you are having a crappy day :(

Niki @ Ambitious Gurl said...

{huge hugs}

I hope your evening turns out better and you have a good weekend!

Blessing said...

I know how this feels. I just blogged about my desperation. And I am not even halfway where you are. My husband just joined the army. He is off to Basic Training and then Officer Candidate School. I just started Musings Of An Army Wife to chronicle these times apart. I am so glad to have military spouse blogs like yours to share the strength, knowledge and experience. I pray that your husband comes back to you safely.

I added you to my military resources page. And I am now following you. I would love for you to participate in our Military Spouse Spotlight, its a fun way to meet other spouses and get to know what they are going through.

Thanks for sharing that wonderful poem. Hugs -:)

Nikkie said...

*BIG HUG*
I'm so sorry that you've been having a hard time lately. I hope that you get a sense of your hubby some how today. If you feel like crying, then cry! It definitely helps!

btw, I just created a new blog. my old one is currently private. feel free to join if you'd like:
www.life-itssomethingbeautiful.blogspot.com

The Sawyer Bunch said...

Hey! I'm a new follower! I gave you an award on my blog :)

http://confessionsofasailorswife.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-very-first-award.html

and I hope you feel better soon ((hugs))

Manda said...

I believe Elizabeth is right. There is just different criteria for CONUS spouses to get on the Space A flights.

Hang in there hon! And don't feel bad about the softball coach, we all have those moments. Although I hate looking weak as well. *hugs*

btw I really enjoyed the poem! :)

kacy:) said...

love the poem!!!:)

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