This blog is written as a way for me to express my feelings, thoughts and emotions as I go through life as a proud Air Force Wife!

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June 2, 2010

Into the groove

Well, I think I am at that part of deployments where I am into the groove. Kind of used to him being gone now and just living day by day. Trying not to really take the time to think about him being gone. I keep us pretty busy so that our days go by quick. Anything to help time fly. Our daughter is on a traveling softball team so she has tons of games.

Even though we keep busy it never fails that when night time comes it gets hard. I am sick of sleeping with an empty space next to me. Sometimes when he calls just his voice makes me cry. It's hard when I have a daughter who is real sensitive so I can't show in front of her that I am sad. I think I just kept letting it build up and then one day I lost it in the shower. Not a good thing.  I felt like I just needed a real good crying to let it out. Unfortunately I just couldn't get it out. I had lots of streaming tears but it was a weird feeling of knowing there was so much there but it wouldn't release itself. I just wanted it to be over with so I could move on.

On a good note- another month is down.  :-)

9 comments:

Laina said...

You are a strong person, keep going. I've been there and I know how hard it is. It's always great to hear from them and talk to them but then you just have to say goodbye all over again. I tend to hold things inside and then it bottles up and erupts like a volcano. Remember, today is not one more day without him, it's one day closer to when he comes home!

L.C. said...

I totally feel you on that one. it is so hard at night

Niki @ Ambitious Gurl said...

Thanks for the anniversary wishes! I appreciate them. I am so not looking forward to my hubbys deployment next month but oh well.. nothing I can do about it. LOL

I hope your months apart fly by and that he returns home to you safely.

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

You're so strong! Come what may and love it right? Always here :)

Lingars 2 said...

I know just how you feel! We've got 4 months down and 2 to go! I am finally used to him being gone, but I'm packing out to PCS from England back to the US in a month, so it's going to be CRAZY! I will keep you in my prayers! I always cry in the shower too! My girls would lose it if I cried in front of them. :)

Kathryn said...

Aww sometimes we all just need a good cry. Sounds like you are doing a good job being strong for your daughter, hope everything continues to go well, and that time flies until he comes home!

trooppetrie said...

i agree the beginning is hard, the end is hhard but then it seems normal in the middle. but the nights. I never get use to be alone at night. the house is quiet and i realize i am going to bed alone again

JG said...

One month down, that's great! The shower is my favorite place to "let go," too.

Sarah said...

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