I always hear about military members volunteering to go on deployments and remotes. WHY?? I can only imagine it is because they don't love like it hurts. It hurts for us to be away from each other. I would much rather let fate take him from me then our own choosing. People who are in failing marriages see deployments and remotes as a temporary fix to a major problem. I can't imagine happily married people that want any time apart. I truly am happy with my husband and our life. I feel so blessed to have our family.
I would not change my love for him no matter how much it hurts. But that is how true love is anyways. I wish that all military couples had happy marriages although the reality is otherwise.
I hope that if your marriage is not strong you take the time to think about why it is not and maybe this will be a good time to clear your minds and rejuvenate that love. Send him a letter letting him know your thoughts and feelings. Best of luck to everyone. I hope we all survive these deployments and can maintain or begin strong marriages.
P.S. - If your active duty member does volunteer to leave I am not saying you have a bad marriage or trying to be negative. I know a soldier loves his job. :-) I also know that some people make the sacrifice so they can get the pick of a base and other reasons. AND my husband would never turn down a deployment, he serves with honor and is grateful to do his part.
12 comments:
I completely agree! Although Mr. hasn't been deployed (yet) I know its coming and I'm dreading it. Any second we're apart we both aren't as happy as we could be. I think especially in the military, where there is such a strong stereotype of unfaithful spouses, quickie marriages, and even more divorces, those of us who can prove it wrong, need to! And need to loudly! I'm sorry your man is away.
♥ Mrs. S.
My DH is going to Okinawa next month, unaccompanied. We made the decision together for the kids and not to go. Neither one of us like it and we don't want to be apart from each other, but he WANTS to deploy and is going to volunteer once he gets there if he isn't with a unit that is going. He wants to be there, he feels like that is his job, he wants to help his brothers, that is where he needs to be. I can understand what you are saying, but this is something he has to do for himself and I support him.
This post could not have come at a better time Cheryl! I was trying to explain this type of love to my dear friend yesterday... her marriage is not like this. I'm going to tell her to read your blog pronto!
I completely agree! I can't imagine not being so much in love with my husband! No granted...there was a small period that I would've volunteered him for deployment myself...but that's just the growing pains of marriage and love!
My husband volunteered for our current deployment - leaving behind the wife he adores and a newborn son. He was asked to lead a company of men off to war, a war he is familiar with and well-equipped to serve. His honor, integrity, and willingness to endure personal sacrifice to be part of a mission greater than himself is a trait that not many possess. He would not be in the Army if he had to go on deployments kicking and screaming. Luckily, our marriage is wonderful and our committed faith to each other and God keeps us strong during the separation. I don't expect many to understand but that is what makes our marriage so special. Others should be so lucky.
http://huffmaniacs.wordpress.com/2009/08/03/others-should-be-so-lucky/
This was such a sweet posting. You know sometimes when you just read something and you get a happy butterfly feeling in your stomach, well that what I had in your post...just saying :)
My husband has volunteered for three of his five deployments. Not because he wants to be away from us or because we have a bad marriage or because we have issues. He volunteers because he is committed to seeing this through (as much as he can) and because sometimes someone has to do it, someone has to say I'll go. Our marriage is very strong, regardless of how far apart we are. And no, many people probably don't see how he could/can do that (but a lot of people don't understand how he can be EOD, which is extremely dangerous, while having a wife and children either.) But willing to make that sacrifice is what makes him the man and Marine he is.
Nicely said. I think that the military will either make your family stronger or tear it apart. It is such an extreme lifestyle, your life is not your own anymore. My husband is my world and I hate when he's away from me even for a day. That one day feels like a week. I just like to be around him in his presence. It's not what he does around the house (which is very little) that I miss, it's just simply being around him. I know some husbands who have to go on travel for a couple days and their wives look forward to time to themselves, I do not look forward to when he leaves. And he hates being away from us. So, I think being in the military takes a little extra work than the average family. So, to those out there who you encouraged to take a look at your marriage, make sure you're putting in the work.
http://reflectionsofanavywife.blogspot.com/
If we want to leave Virginia my husband has to volunteer to do a year in Korea unaccompanied. So sometimes it isn't really a choice its to get something better.
I left you an award on my blog!
heatherashleydz.blogspot.com
I love this post! "If I didn't love you so much" really shows the wonderful love you have for your man. I know how you feel and it is hard to love someone so much, because with it comes worry and longing and lots more. I am a new follower on your blog! Visit me at Mama's Little Chick.
www.mamaslittlechick.com
Mama Hen
My husband volunteered for our current seperation. I know it is a foreign concept to a lot of people, but in order to 1. climb our way out of debt, 2. avoid the remote tour to Korea (he went on a remote to Greenland instead) and 3. get out of our base and to a new one; this is what had to be done. We love each other fiercly, and he is 110% crazy about our children; but we both knew it was something we would have to endure in order to move on with our lives. I have already been to see him in Greenland once, and he will be home in August. I will go back to Greenland in October... there's always a way =)
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