I am sure we all have wonderful, positive, the best time of our lives experiences with military Spouses groups!
LOL Yeah right!
I have had some absolutely fabulous times with spouses clubs but there is always those times when you dont feel like you belong. The" why am I even here" moment.
I had that moment a few months ago but I didn't let it win. So here is my story of what happened at an Officers Spouses Club meeting.
My hubby is prior enlisted. As an enlisted wife I was really involved and volunteered with the squadron spouses groups and the base enlisted spouses club. I really believe every base is what you make it. If you are negative before you every get there you are not giving it or yourself a chance. You are doomed from the get go. My kids are not allowed to tell me they don't like a base until we have lived there and they can form an actual opinion. Many people give you opinions on how a base is but it all depends on what they do while at the base that makes it their opinion. For example:
working, volunteering on/off base, kids/no kids, living in base housing or not are all ways to make each base experience different
Ok- I am off subject.
Back to the point- When he became an officer I was really nervous about getting involved in the Officer spouses club. You know we all have heard the stereotype of officer wives. I was worried that I wouldn't fit in or they wouldn't care about me because my hubby is low man on the totem poll and he is not a pilot. Since my hubby was deploying I thought I need to get involved and meet more military spouses. We do not live on base and our community is not a military community.
I went to an event by myself in hopes of meeting new people. I arrived and was greeted at the door and given a sticker name tag. Everyone else had official name tags because they were not new. So I grab a glass of wine and stand near the door for a while in hopes of someone talking to me. Everyone was coming in groups and were immediately going to their friends. As I -just-- stood --there. I finally ventured to the couch where a lot of ladies were but still was not spoken too. I texted a friend and told her I was getting ready to leave because it had been 15 minutes and no one acknowledged me. I was really hurt and stupefied that all these spouses would not speak to me. There were about 25 people present. I was getting ready to give up when someone sat next to me an introduced herself. She started chatting with me and introduced me to some other people. Finally people were talking to me. They did not know I was new and apparently were so consumed in their conversations to notice I was by myself. I understand that. Yes- I guess I should have introduced my self to people and made more of a point of that. But I didn't feel comfortable.
I went to another event after that and wouldn't you know it- all the people I had chatted with at the last event were not there. UGH Not this again. Well, I took it upon myself to make sure I had a good time because it is up to me what kind of time I have. I went up and talked to people and introduced myself and met more friends.
The point is- I waited it out and was happy I did. Had I left I would have missed out on a lot of great information and new friends. Everyone was very nice. I went to the events from that point on and am not the club secretary. My goal in the club is to mae sure that anyone new to an event is welcomed correctly and not left alone.
So- if you see someone by themselves just go talk to them. We all are in the same situation no matter what rank or job. We are all spouses who are away from our family and we all need friends.