This blog is written as a way for me to express my feelings, thoughts and emotions as I go through life as a proud Air Force Wife!


April 24, 2010

Deployment Mind Games

I absolutely love and adore my husband.  I believe that a happy marriage is successful when you do all that you can to ensure each other are happy. I am not saying I need to be his servant and bow down to him but I do want to make sure that he is happy in all areas that I have control in. Being a women that I am I like romantic stuff. I like writing him love letters and always professing my love to him. I go out of my way to make sure I can make his time over there asd pleasant as possible with weekly packages.

I have been in this rut lately where I just feel like I am doing all this work to ensure that he is happy and taken care of while he is gone but not feeling like the same is being returned. I'm not asking him to spend any money or do anything fancy, gosh- I would just love a love letter every now and then. I know he's not the romantic, mushy gushy type. BUT- I am!! I was kind of feeling like I was doing all this work and for what.

That all changed today when I was able to have a video call with him. He always can make me laugh and feel good. I do know that he loves me. Sometimes I guess I just need to be reminded more than just saying "I Love You" at the end of our calls. I didn't even take in consideration the reasons why maybe he doesn't write me love letters. He assured me that he loves me dearly and the reason he doesn't write me love letters is because then it makes him think too much about missing me!  AWE- that was enough to make me smile big and feel all kinds of good. I totally understood what he meant. I know he tries to keep real busy so that time will go fast and when you are busy you don't have time to realize how much you miss home.

So- if your spouse is away and you are not feeling loved. Send me an email and I will tell you that you are loved. LOL  Sometimes we just need to reassure ourselves that everything is ok.

Deployments definitely play a lot of mind games on the military person and the spouse at home. Don't forget to be aware of that. Give yourself a moment to calm down and center yourself. I finally did!

Many Blessings,


Noelbelle said...

Cerryl I go through the same thing! Sometimes I get sad or mad because I am sending letters every day and get one every two, or three weeks back. Especially because when he is here I hear I love you every day, several times a day. Then I have to tell myself, he's at war - then I feel selfish. But you are totally right, sometimes you have to remember yourself a break - and remember it's all "deployment normal" and just center yourself. It's weird what a emotional roller coaster deployment is. I hope next week is filled with more good than bad days for you (isn't that sad that it's how I rank my weeks:)).


Donna said...

He sounds like a sweetheart Cheryl.
I have always found that absence makes your mind go a little haywire - especially when your men are away doing what they do. You have a great day.

Chantal said...

Great post. I understand completely!

Check out my blog, I gave you the Sunshine Award for being such a great blogger!

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

Yes, deployments do play a lot of mind games. I'm trying to keep that in mind. Thanks for the reminder!

Kirsten said...

I've been dealing with some deployment mind games lately...your post helped me realize that and focus on what is important! Thanks!
Sending you some blog love with The Circle of Friends Award! :)

Post a Comment