This blog is written as a way for me to express my feelings, thoughts and emotions as I go through life as a proud Air Force Wife!


April 1, 2010

Nights are hard

Some nights my poor daughter just can't get to sleep. It's so hard when you know the only thing to make her better is a hug from Daddy. She says she can't sleep and really misses her daddy. I have tried so many things to help her get to sleep but nothing seems to work. I told she is going to have to come up with some way to help her get to sleep. Her dad got her a build a bear and recorded his voice to help her but sometimes I wonder if it makes it worse. I giver her lots of hugs but they only help a little. Sometimes she ends up in my bed and sometimes she just ends up staying awake until real late. Hopefully with time it will get better for her. She seems to get restless at night because then she is not busy and has time to think about him being away.

I have had several of these nights as well. So restless and just can't seem to fall asleep no matter what. It is that empty feeling knowing that he is supposed to be right next to me. Last night I stayed awake until 230am. Today will be a long day. I thought about what I tell my daughter to help her and it didn't help me either. LOL I have a hard time I think because I watch TV before bed and then of course see all the couples on the shows and it makes me long for him. I hate to see them all happy, hugging and kissy face.  Obviously, I need to open my eyes and NOT watch TV before I go to bed. I will try to start reading nightly. My daughter does not watch TV before bed so this is not going to be the same thing that will help her.

So- my mission is to find ways to help my daughter and I get some much needed good sleep at night.

Any Ideas????


Riding the Roller Coaster said...

I think the Build a Bear with his voice is a GREAT idea! I don't think it's making it worse. ONe of my friends told me about a company that makes daddy dolls, which I think is a doll with his picture on the face. I'll email her and ask her more about it.

Sadly, I don't have any tips. Hopefully time will help. And I truly believe that talking about daddy and looking at pictures of him is a good thing. Just keep on doling out the hugs and telling her that both of her parents love her very much. For you, reading nightly is a good idea instead of tv. I find that always relaxes me better than tv before bed and that's why we don't have a tv in our bedroom. Decaf hot tea with honey helps me too.

Good luck. Sorry I can't be more helpful!

Gaile said...

I found sleep medication to be helpful during the last deployment - or a glass of wine. This deployment I am looking into meditation/relaxation techniques, since I am pregnant and CAN'T have any of my old crutches. :)
For your daughter, what about a NEW bedtime routine? Maybe do the usual stuff, but add in something extra, like reading a special book together or writing a letter to Daddy every night?
My kids just need some consistency (hard for me during deployment) so as long as bedtime is at the same time every night, they function. Sort of. My boys share a room, and when Dad is gone they fight a lot...especially after lights-out.
Working on that one, will update here or on my own blog if I reach a major epiphany :)

Lingars 2 said...

Oh girl! I know just what you mean! My husband is gone again and I find that if I stay really busy during the day and exercise, then I can usually fall asleep faster. My girls write notes to Daddy when they're missing him too much and it seems to help them. I also e-mail him right before bed. I will pray that things get easier!


Riding the Roller Coaster said...

I just heard back from my friend about the Daddy Dolls. If you're interested, the website is I haven't gone through the site myself yet, but I'm thinking about making up dolls for my own kids. Good luck!

Kirsten said...

I give you so much credit coping with a deployment with children. I don’t know what that is like yet, but I can imagine it being such a challenge. I do totally relate with problems sleeping, I've been having problems for awhile now. For me it's feeling insecure and jumpy at night without him. I tried one of those noise machines with ocean waves, etc. It helps a little. The other thing I find helps is following a routine every night before bed, doing the same thing at the same time before bed seems to get my mind in sleep mode. Hope it gets better!

Jeanne said...

I would do the Daddy Dolls.. You can add his voice in, too. Something that may help would be framing a photo of your husband, and putting it next to your daughter's bed.. Also, just telling her stories about her dad will help.. That's all I can think of for now.. Oh! I remember when I was a kid and I missed my dad, I would play music that he liked.. For me, it was the Beach Boys, because he would always sing to it, and I could imagine his voice..
Hope this helps!

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